Tag Archives: The Consort

Petition Day in CHASING BOOK SALES LAND

August 16, 2014Chasing book sales landEgbert Rosella, Petition day, The Consort, The FiefdomAlana Woods

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Once in a rare while, when petitions have banked to a degree that I can no longer ignore them, I’ll hold a Petition Day where all the inhabitants who have something they wish to discuss with me can come to the palace and gain an audience.

On this particular morning I was busy trying to get to the bottom of my in-box before Petition Time when I heard a loud bang. Not concerned, because sometimes the roof likes to herald its presence by making annoying noises, I continued with the correspondence.

Imagine my horror, then, when peering out at the queue forming to see me I spied one of my subjects in extremis on the palace window ledge.

It looked like Little Spoggy had tried to beat the crowds into the palace only to find what she thought was the entrance barred by an invisible barrier—glass.

I rushed outside and to my relief found her still breathing although her eyes were closed, her mouth open and her heart beating as though it would burst from her chest.

I stroked her little chest to calm her and tried dripfeeding her some water after which The Consort led me away to grieve as he predicted she would not recover.

Imagine my joy then, when an hour later I returned to collect her fragile little body for burial and found her sitting. Another hour later she had recovered sufficiently to fly home.

I hastened to ask what it was she had come to petition me for but she said she had such a headache it had flown right out of her head.

Egbert, on the other hand, was granted his request.

Recent rains have brought about a second flush of new rosehips and I consented to not net them.

I was so upset about Little Spoggy in extremis I felt it not appropriate to capture her image. Egbert, on the other hand, is always happy to pose.

Where lies CHASING BOOK SALES LAND?

June 14, 2014Chasing book sales landAustralia, Australiana, Lavender, The Consort, The FiefdomAlana Woods

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We have been receiving communiqués querying where lies this little Fiefdom of Chasing Book Sales Land.

It’s a minor fiefdom abutting The Consort’s petty fiefdom of Why don’t you give it away land.

Both are within the borders of the minor kingdom of The Bush Capital, which itself sits within the realm of New South Wales.

It is part of the mighty island nation of Australia that occupies a great swathe of the southern regions.

A long and perilous journey is required to reach its shores but if you ever undertake the arduous trip and travel on to Chasing Book Sales Land you will receive a warm welcome from its inhabitants.

Please note that gifts for My Fiefdomness are customary.

Foul play in CHASING BOOK SALES LAND

May 10, 2014Chasing book sales landEgbert Rosella, The Consort, The Fiefdom, The PalaceAlana Woods

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It’s a sad day in Chasing book sales land.

We have lost one of our favourite citizens.

The Consort found Frank the Legless Lizard at the bottom of the palace’s outdoor swimming pool this morning. The Consort was quick to scoop Frank out but felt he was past mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and CPR.

The Consort and I have our suspicions as to the culprit, but without evidence or witnesses we must remain silent and impartial.

Our suspicions turned immediately in Lolly Lizard’s direction.

Why? Because in the past weeks The Fiefdom has been preparing to honour My Fiefdomness with a lifetime literature award in recognition of the wealth my published endeavours have brought to The Fiefdom.

And because Frank was rather special, as well as being a favourite, The Consort thought he was the perfect choice to present the award.

Why was Frank special? Well, because he was a legless lizard and the only one in Chasing books sales land. He has cousins further afield but collectively they are an endangered species. Lolly had objected initially but withdrew it after Egbert the Rosella voiced the opinion that Frank was the most appropriate choice.

When we spied Lolly in the garden later in the morning we felt he had a very satisfied look in his eye.

The Consort stepped in to do the honours at the award ceremony.

Rest in peace, Frank.

The Consort of CHASING BOOK SALES LAND

March 29, 2014Chasing book sales landThe Consort, The Fiefdom, Why not give it away landAlana Woods

Today I went for a walk around The Fiefdom.
I hadn’t done so for a while so thought I’d better check that all is well. The Consort accompanied me.
Wait on, I hear you say, Consort? You haven’t mentioned him before, Your Fiefdomness.

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No, well, that’s because he doesn’t visit often. To give you an amazingly brief history of Chasing book sales land, it came into being 40 years ago and for most of those years The Consort did co-habit. But recently he moved to Why not give it away land, another petty fiefdom that shares a border with mine.

So far The Consort has been pretty benign with his change of stance. There’s no looming war or hostile takeover on the horizon. Long may that last.

Anyway, getting back to our perambulation. It had been raining all day and we took the chance for the walk when it eased. The smell of eucalypt hung heavy in the air. Very pleasant indeed. Conducive to discussion of fiefdom business.

Official court likeness of The Consort

Yes, there is a wine glass in one hand and camera in the other. Apart from his official role of providing gravitas to My Fiefdomness, his primary purpose is to assess and chose wines for the palace cellars and photograph official happenings.

He does a sterling job of both.